Finding Mr or Mrs Right in 2021

The search for true love is not easy. While some people are lucky enough to fall in-love with the right person and enjoy their lives together, for some, finding the right partner can be a challenge.

Relationship coach Gaopalelwe Seleka says the first question one needs to answer is “Am I Mr(s) Right?”

She says although many seek to find true love and a good partner who meets their expectations, they don’t take time to evaluate themselves.

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It is very important to know yourself. “If I do not know who I am, how am I going to choose the right person?” says the relationship coach.

“How can I choose Mr Right if I am not Mrs Right?” she says.

Before pursuing love, you must deal with your own issues that might get in the way of securing and enjoying a good relationship.

“Sometimes I am waiting for Mr Right, but I’m not even working on myself. I have insecurity issues; I have things that I have to deal with,” says Seleka.

She adds that because of past hurts, some people battle with bitterness. This will have a negative impact on their relationships. This means even if you find the right partner, if you have not dealt with your own issues, your relationship might not work out.

The relationship coach also warns against getting into a relationship with just anyone, even those that do not treat you well.

She says this can be as a result of past failed relationships which can distort your definition of love.

“You need to deal with yourself, to deal with the hurt, the pain, the disappointments, the giving up so that then you can find the right person.”

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She adds that our past mistakes and hurt are not meant to destroy us.

“As much as they are painful, they have to mould you to be a better person.”

Seleka warns against setting your standards too high.

She says don’t base your expectations on other people’s relationships, because everyone is different and all relationships are unique.

Lastly, she says you should not allow society to judge you based on your past and tell you, you will never find the right person who will love you.

“Even if you have three kids or more, it doesn’t mean there is no Mr(s) Right for you. You just need to find yourself so that you can be able to be found and identified. Society can be harsh, but don’t allow them to define you based on your past and don’t define yourself based on your past mistakes,” she concludes. 

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Image courtesy of iStock/ @Anetlanda