How to offer support to someone who has just suffered a miscarriage
Suffering a miscarriage is one of the most painful experiences any woman can go through. Here is how you can offer support.
Statistics show that 10% to 15% of pregnancies end in miscarriage.
A miscarriage is defined as a baby who dies before 28 weeks of pregnancy. Babies who die at or after 28 weeks are stillbirths.
For many women, there is no greater pain than losing a child during pregnancy.
After suffering the miscarriage, the mother might go through a grieving period which can be a very lonely time.
Getting support from loved ones is one of the things that will help her deal with the pain and heal.
READ: 5 tips to help you deal with a miscarriage
However, in offering support, be careful of the things you say or do to the person who has just suffered a miscarriage. Avoid saying things that seem like you are dismissing the grief.
Things such as "be strong because miscarriages are so common", "you will have another baby", "at least the miscarriage happened earlier on in the pregnancy", and "maybe the baby was going to come with complications or health challenges" do not make the situation any easier. Also avoid saying things like “it was probably for the best” or “at least you have other children".
Let's look at four things you can say or do to offer support to a person who has just suffered a miscarriage:
- Let the person know that you are there for them by offering a shoulder to cry on. You don't even have to worry about what you will say, your presence is enough to show that you are supportive. Also, check if they are ready for visitors, if not, then show support through a phone call, text or gift.
- Beware of empty promises such as saying they should reach out to you if they are in need of anything, then failing to fulfil those promises. Rather be specific about what you want to offer and let it be things you can do. Inquire about their needs, such as if they need help around the house, something from the shop, or if they want some fresh air.
- It is important to be sensitive because the person may still be vulnerable after losing the baby.
- Be attentive to how the person feels and how they express themselves, and do not do anything to aggravate the matter.
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