Marriage Week 2019: How to strengthen your marriage

Marriage Week is celebrated in twenty-one countries around the world.

"The effect of divorce is real – no matter how accustomed we become to the fact that every second marriage ends in the divorce court. Having the right tools to invest in your marriage is more important than ever!” says Liezel van der Merwe, President of SA Marriage Week. 

She represented South Africa at the International Marriage Week Conference which was held from 24 to 26 May in Vienna, Austria. The theme of the conference was Celebrating Commitment. 

"The main purpose of this week is so that couples may take a pause from their busy schedules and reflect on their love for one another, " says Lynette Makuyana-Matema, the Psychosocial Department Manager at Zisize ( Ingwavuma) Educational Trust. 

“Life is pretty busy, and many couples just forget each other along the way, it’s so easy to get caught up in for example; career, children, housing and just forget your spouse. So Marriage Week is about reminding a nation to prioritise each other during Marriage Week,” she adds. 

She says marriage week is a great time to strengthen the love for your partner by making "love deposits". 

"Each relationship has a 'love tank', the way a certain partner may act will result in a 'love deposit' or a 'love withdrawal'. It is essential to keep check that one is making love deposits rather than love withdrawals. An example of a love withdrawal would be a partner that leaves the toilet seat up while the other partner constantly asks that the seat be replaced after use. The partner who isn’t pleased by these actions may find themselves feeling less in love which is then a love withdrawal. Surprising ones partner with tickets to go watch their favourite game is an example of a love deposit," says Lynette. 

Below Zisize shares five ways couples can take part in this year's Marriage Week:

• Cultivate Romance. Your relationship with each other is the most important part of your home, so create an environment that will enable your relationship to flourish. What will make your house feel like home to each other. Cultivate romance by adding candles, soft lighting, soft furnishings, and music in your bedroom.

• Take a break from your phone. Agree boundaries over screen time. We’ve all done it, our partner is chatting away and we realise we heard nothing they said because we were checking out a hilarious meme on Facebook. Or checked our emails for that ‘really important’ work email before we go to sleep. How much are we missing out on because we’re too absorbed by screen time? Take time to be honest with each other about realistic boundaries. Perhaps consider setting your devices to do not disturb at certain times of the day.

• Do a temperature check. Who or what sets the atmosphere of your house?

Is there a project in the house that is causing stress? Are there differences between you that need talking through; perhaps one of you is tidy and the other is messy – can you meet in the middle? Who else lives in your house? If you’re parents, children can sometimes cause friction in your relationship but there are some great support resources available. Who comes into your house? Are they people that make you happy or people who stress you out? Talk about how you can address some of these areas and lift the atmosphere of the house.

• Plan date nights: Take turns to plan your date night. If you feel stuck in a rut, go somewhere completely new or do something you have never done before.

• Have fun together: Find out what makes each other laugh! Everyone has a sense of humour (however obscure) it is just tapping into to what has your spouse cracking up that is the key.

READ: How to prepare for marriage

Image courtesy of iStock/ KatarzynaBialasiewicz