Why you can seem successful and still be depressed
Updated | By Poelano Malema
Nthabiseng Ngoepe, a suicide survivor, author, attorney, television personality, and mental health advocate, explains the relationship that exists between material success and mental health.
One of the biggest questions on everybody's mind, especially when a celebrity takes his or her life, is how could they have been depressed while being so successful?
It is difficult to imagine that money and fame do not make one immune to depression, because many translate the glitz and glamour to mean that life is perfect.
But the many stars that die due to suicide paints a different picture.
In recent years, many celebrities have opened up about their struggle with mental health.
READ: World Mental Health Day: How to take better care of your mind
Nthabiseng Ngoepe, a suicide survivor, author, successful attorney, television personality, and mental health advocate, explains the relationship that exists between material success and mental health or one's emotional well-being.
"As society, our barometer and perception of fulfilment is central mainly to physical comfort. With the evolving from generation to generation, yes, this generation has attached too much value on success and wealth, relatively marrying that into the idea of a life of contentment. Sadly, this has detached us from critical parts of our existence, which are our minds and our souls. The ripple effect of that is that we have stripped ourselves of any responsibility to build and invest on the inner person, the care we give to those parts of our self (i.e. mind, emotions) that the world does not see, yet those are the very parts that produce the quality of life we have," says Nthabiseng.
The founder of 'Choose to Live Movement', who has devoted her time to restoring hope to those who are on the verge of giving up, says her upcoming event which features the likes of former Miss SA Shudufadzo Musida and Thami Ngubeni will shine the spotlight on wellness and wholeness. The aim is to decrease the escalating suicide rate around the globe, starting in South Africa.
READ: Former Miss SA Shudufhadzo Musida tackles mental health on a broader scale
It seems the more people open up about suffering from depression, the more others come out.
Nthabiseng says that is because depression is a pandemic and cannot be ignored.
"It has plunged humanity into a crisis, and it is worse for Africa as a continent with leading statistics for death by suicide (70%)," says the three-times suicide survivor.
On why this generation seems to have more mental health issues, Nthabiseng says the consumption of information without the wisdom to sift and discern is at the core of mental health.
"Our generation is the most populated in terms of information, it is the most technologically advanced and has much at its disposal. The consumption of information without the wisdom to sift and discern is at the core of mental health.
"It is not everything that is out there that we should be listening to or participating in or acquiring for ourselves. Much responsibility is required individually for one to know what is beneficial, what is not. A lot of what is reported and much of it is regulating how we show up daily to the stage of life is absolutely unnecessary. This places the responsibility on us, for one to weigh in carefully.
"So, I would say lack of wisdom, irresponsible handling of information, and the lack of substance of who we are, prioritising the world and its standards over ourselves and plain outright lack of boundaries is at the core of mental issues. For us to win the battle, it starts with a concrete substance of who you are, who I am, so that whatever information, growth, success, trials or failures, even doors of opportunities that I come across, I view them in the correct lens so that they cannot alter or influence who I am, but serve to harness who I am becoming."
READ: It's okay not to be okay: How to help teens struggling with mental health issues
Even though depression affects millions of people around the world, it is important to differentiate between feeling depressed and being diagnosed with depression.
"We all from time to time feel down, perhaps something not turning out as it should, disappointments, failure to meet a target etc. The challenge becomes when one dwells on it and permits it to affect how they view themselves, and life thus resulting in a state of constant disappointment in ourselves or others and a loss of vitality for life.
"It's imperative that one keeps a regular audit of themselves; self-awareness and self-regulation are key. Be aware when you are experiencing prolonged sadness, anger outbursts, and a change in behaviour. That is what helps one identify that it is beyond a momentary occurrence or feeling but a state of mind. It is also key to time ones emotions as well. That is how we pick up the abnormality of behaviour, even feelings to which our reaction should be to get a proper clinical diagnosis and intervention," says Nthabiseng.
The mental health advocate says "we must be cautious to attempt to dissect wellness only to the mind."
She adds that relationships play a vital role to our mental wellness and wholeness.
The author says: "Socially, I totally can attest to the fact that we inherit so much from others to the extent that it does play a crucial part in shaping who we become."
In conclusion, she says: "Human beings form an integral part of our existence, so our interactions become key. When we aspire for wholeness, we move through life as a harmonious, unified person who is no longer broken or damaged from their traumas. We relate better because we are comfortable with ourselves, what we seek to achieve in accomplishing our purpose and, yes, in serving others. Authenticity is key, never lose who you are."
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Disclaimer: Health-related information provided in this article is not a substitute for medical advice and should not be used to diagnose or treat health problems. It is always advisable to consult with your doctor on any health-related issues.
Main image courtesy of iStock/ @iMrSquid
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