Are you guilty of 'micro-cheating'?
Updated | By Jean-Mari Schmidt
Dating expert Melanie Shilling has shared helpful information to help you determine whether or not you are actually crossing a line.
Another day and there are some more rules and regulations that need to be added to the dating guidebook.
When it comes to cheating in a relationship, it's very black and white.
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There is physical cheating, which involves touching someone who is not your partner intimately, and there is emotional cheating, which is a bit more complicated but still easy to determine.
However, another spanner has been thrown into the dating works and it has made cheating become a bit more of a grey area.
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Ever heard about 'micro-cheating?'
Melanie Schilling described it as "a series of seemingly small actions that indicate a person is emotionally or physically focused on someone outside their relationship".
Some examples include:
- Texting someone without your partner's knowledge
- Saving someone under a fake name on your phone
- Lying about the status of your relationship to others
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While these examples might seem pretty obvious, it can get more complicated, so how do you know if you are micro-cheating or just living your life?
You might be engaging in micro-cheating if you secretly connect with another guy/girl on social media; if you share private jokes; if you downplay the seriousness of your relationship to another guy/girl; or if you enter their name under a code in your phone. These are all signs that you are conducting a 'covert flirtation' and keeping it from your partner. If you feel you have something to hide, ask yourself why.- Melanie Shilling (Dating Expert)
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And how do you know if your partner is possibly guilty of micro-cheating?
Basically, the same way you would know if they were physically or emotionally cheating on you.
Secrecy is the tell-tale sign. Micro-cheating is a subtle betrayal and it needs secrecy to fuel its fire. If your partner is having private conversations or online chats that he/she quickly shuts down when you enter the room; if they are reaching out to an ex to mark an anniversary or other significant shared, intimate event; perhaps they are offering compliments to other guys/girls that they don't say to you; or maybe they meet up with someone of the opposite sex under the guise of a business meeting, when you discover no business was actually done... these are all signs to look out for.- Melanie Shilling (Dating Expert)
If you find you are having doubts about your relationship or you think your partner might be busy being unfaithful, before you jump to conclusions, the best way to deal with this issue is to tell your partner about the specific behaviours you have witnessed and explain how they made you feel.
Flinging empty accusations and insults will get you nowhere, and might make you seem jealous and insecure.
What it all comes down to in the end is intention.
As soon as you can figure that out, you should be good to go.
Tune in to 'The Drive with Rob & Roz', on weekdays from 16:00 - 19:00. Stream the show live here or download our mobile app here.
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Main image courtesy of iStock/Prostock-Studio
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