"I'm the only one not invited to my colleague's wedding!"
Yikes, this is a tricky one, mainly because all the colleagues from the department were invited...
Things can get awkward when you don't have a sound relationship with your co-workers, especially since you spend most of your day with them.
This is why companies invest in team dinners and initiatives such as team building. These activities help strengthen the bond between co-workers. In addition, co-workers tend to meet outside work to nurture their relationships. They go out for drinks and some even get invited to special events.
Not everyone is like this, though; some colleagues keep their work life separate from their personal lives. It's certainly not a prerequisite to your job requirements, but being included and supported at work feels good.
But what happens when one team member is purposefully excluded from an out-of-office function, like a colleague's wedding?
Things can surely get awkward...
One man asked the Reddit community if he was an A-hole for mentioning he was not invited to a colleague's wedding during a department meeting. Things got more awkward when he found out the other colleagues (invited to the wedding and attended) were told he could not attend.
Bear in mind he was the only one from his department of ten people, excluding the bride, who was not invited to the wedding. When he did bring it up at their department meeting, his colleagues openly told him that they were told he could not attend. The bride, who was present, became uncomfortable but said nothing.
Things got worse when he found out that he had been excluded from a get-together to celebrate her after contributing to a gift for the bride.
He suspects that the person behind excluding him is not the bride herself but her best friend from work who was in charge of planning the get-together.
"To further this, our department had a dinner and celebration for her, and I contributed to the gift. The date was selected and changed based on others' availability, but I couldn’t attend due to a trip overseas I had planned last year. It wasn’t even discussed if it could be changed so I could attend. The person organising it was another coworker and her best friend. I think this other coworker and not the bride herself is the one behind my exclusion for some reason unbeknownst to me." (Reddit)
One Redditor asked him to share more about the backstory; perhaps a fallout caused him to be excluded. He responded by saying:
No backstory. We had a really good work relationship, everyone in department gets along. No idea why the exclusion. The other coworker (who is her best friend) seems to not like me and I have no idea why. I’ve been working with them for 4 years and they were already here for a few years together before that. And it’s not like I took a job they should’ve gotten because they don’t have the skills to do the job I do and that’s not even a question. They aren’t on that level and won’t be. They do more admin type work.
The majority of commentators felt like there was a key part of the story that was missing, but one made a good point that sometimes colleagues play nice in front of you, but they don't like you...
We don't think him asking made him an A-hole but if it matters this much to him, he should address it with them directly. There's nothing quite like addressing things to clear the air, it is a trait that is much needed in many work environments. But walk with caution; sometimes, it's all about how you address it.
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