How long have you gone without talking to your partner?

How long have you gone without talking to your partner?

A Japanese man didn't speak to his wife for two decades because he felt she did not give him enough attention compared to their kids. 

A couple ignore each other after a conflict
A couple ignore each other after a conflict/iStock/kieferpix

It might not seem like a big deal to single folks, but for some people in relationships, the silent treatment can go to extreme lengths. 

It’s often a by-product of conflict, and if you’re in a relationship, you’ll know that conflict is pretty much inevitable.

The level of anger when conflict arises is closely connected to the level of love for your partner or spouse. Loved ones link their rage with the level of hurt they feel, and usually, you aren't hurt by people who don't mean anything to you.

One story that really made us reflect on how far hurt (and silence) can go comes from Japan. A man named Otou Katayama didn’t speak a single word to his wife for 20 years.

It’s often said that communication is key to a healthy relationship. If that’s true, then Otou’s marriage was teetering on thin ice because he went two decades without speaking to his wife.

Despite living under the same roof and raising their children together, the couple carried on in complete silence. Their children grew up without fully understanding the reason behind their parents' quiet standoff.

As Otou neared retirement, his son Yoshiki began to worry. Fearing that this new chapter might push his parents toward divorce, he reached out to Hokkaido Television for help, hoping to finally get to the heart of the silence that had defined their family life for so long.

Despite Yumi’s repeated attempts to spark conversation, her husband remained emotionally distant, responding only with grunts and nods instead of words.

Surprisingly, it never crossed Yumi’s mind to ask for a divorce or even a separation.

Even more astonishing? The couple had a third child during this two-decade-long silence, continuing to live together and raise a family without truly communicating.

Eventually, with a little help from their son and a TV crew, the couple agreed to meet, and that emotional reunion was televised. During the broadcast, Otou finally opened up about the reason behind his 20-year silence: he felt overlooked.

“You were so concerned about the kids. I was kind of … jealous. I was sulking about it," he admitted.

Have you ever allowed something small in your relationship to turn into something larger due to ego and pride? 

If so, learn from the Katayamas and resolve it before two decades go by...

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Image courtesy of iStock

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