Screen time from the eyes of a parent and a child
"One of the things the kids mentioned was that their father and I were also often on our screens, specifically our phones," says parent Tiffany Nieslanik.
Parenting is very much like any learning experience in life. We steer the ship best and learn how to navigate the rough seas. It is a life experience that keeps giving. If we don't stop and reflect, we get swept up in a tsunami of emotion.
We should look at things from a different perspective to avoid the tsunami of 'bad parenting'. One parent, Tiffany Nieslanik, shared her experience with screen time use.
She admitted that she stayed away from the overwhelming advice around screen time as it just added stress and anxiety to her mental load and she often found it contributed to parent guilt rather than being helpful.
She approached the conversation differently to avoid her kids' dysregulation (from exposure to certain types of screen time) affecting the entire household. They included their kids in the conversation around screen time and were surprised to hear what they had to say.
They found that screen time wasn't just a problem for the kids.
"One of the things the kids mentioned was that their father and I were also often on our screens, specifically our phones. They were confused by the fact that we essentially had no rules around our screen use, and they were also frustrated that sometimes they wanted our full attention but couldn't get it. This shifted my perspective, and I realised that our conversation couldn't just be about their screens; it had to be about the whole family's habits." (Business Insider)
Although Nieslanik and her partner were using their phones for work and to catch up with loved ones, their kids saw it as a deterrent that took their parent's attention away from them.
The conversation also veered into how their kids felt after watching different types of screen time. The children were open to sharing how they felt and surprisingly welcomed their parent's advice on how to handle screen time better.
As a family, they consolidated a set of screen time rules that would apply to the entire family. Like anything new, it was challenging for the adults who used their phones for work to stick to the rules at first, but they managed to adapt, and it worked in the family's favour.
"I've seen firsthand how modelling awareness and good screen habits for my kids has helped them have more understanding and self-regulation. The rules don't seem arbitrary, and they apply to everyone.
"This has lessened the tension around screen time in our house, and while I can't say the house is magically calmer — three young kids are living in it, after all — I can say that the yelling these days is more play-based and less meltdown-based, which is a big win." (Business Insider)
Empowering her kids to decide how to handle screen time has benefitted them in a positive and healthy way. It is a beautiful example of how including your kids in parenting can help the whole family.
Tune in to the 'Workzone with Elana Afrika-Bredenkamp', weekdays from 09:00 - 12:00. Stream the show live here or download our mobile app here.
Listen to Jacaranda FM:
- 94.2
- Jacaranda FM App
- http://jacarandafm.com
- DStv 858/ OpenView 602
Image Courtesy of iStock